February 2, 2011
Hey! It has not been that long since last I updated. I was a bit surprised to find that people in the US still read my blog. I was approached twice the other Sunday at church by people telling me to “hang in there” and that they were praying for me. To be honest, I had to go back and re-read my last blog as I was not sure about what they were talking.
January I started full time at work. I still really like the people I work with and am generally happy there. Pangs of international homesickness come still, and I have even applied for some overseas jobs again. I still don’t know what I am doing, but am ok with that for now. We recently implemented some changes in strategy for the work day and that means my mind has to organize to a new routine and get fast and efficient at that routine once again. This is frustrating as I am by nature a slow person. Combine a new routine, a speedy surgeon, my slowness and 46 cats (20 of which are in foul moods) and you have me taking 5 min in a corner to collect myself while a few co-workers awkwardly watch and feel bad. Everyone is very nice about my slowness. I however have no grace for myself. I’ve now been there three whole months, I should be perfect!
Quiz is going really well, and I am having so much fun trying to get prizes that match the scripture. It is good times. I am now also regularly volunteering at Ten Thousand Villages. It makes me a bit “home” sick, but I love to share stories with anyone who will listen. They have gift registry there and I am so tempted to get engaged just so I can register! I keep telling my friends to get married and register there, so I can buy them gifts. As of yet, no one has taken the bait.
Oh yes, for the month of February I am house-sitting in Perrysburg. Instead of an hour and 5 min commute, I now drive 35min!!! It is great. It is also really nice to be alone for a bit. I do like living with my family, but I don’t think I had been alone in a house for more than an hour since July 6!!! It has been such a blessing, especially today. There was “snowmagydon” last night and work was cancelled today!!! I had a place to stay close to work when the weather was frightful. Praise be to God for that one!! The plow person that did the driveway was almost unable to make it through the first 2 big drifts at the top of the driveway. Crazy!!
My friend Jamie and I are trying to start a small group Bible study and have been encountering difficulties in its start-up. Awesomely enough, there was an evening workshoppy thing on starting small groups that I signed up for and went to at our church. It was really nice, and I learned some new was to organize, implement and focus in a small group setting. One of the topics made me really think back to my old small group in Sri Lanka. It was the topic of self-disclosure; I’ll write more on that topic now. This idea of 5 levels is from a book, but I don’t know what book, so forgive the lack of citation. I have paraphrased and rephrased a lot of this.

Self-disclosure is the key to closeness in a group. The more you can know about each other’s situations and feelings, the more helpful you can be to each other. But self-disclosure is risky! How deep does your sharing go?

Level 1: Cliché Conversation. Such communication is safe. Topics include the weather, family, and friends. Uses such phrases as, “how are you?” or “I like your shirt”

Level 2: Sharing Information and Facts. Events, ideas, and facts are talked about but not the self. “At work today, we had a speaker come in.”

Level 3: Sharing Ideas and Opinions. This is where some real communication begins. “It would be a good idea to decrease welfare and increase social health care.”

Level 4: Sharing Feelings. At this level we communicate how we feel about the facts, ideas and opinions. “It makes me so sad to see people I care about have so many financial problems due to unexpected health care.”

Level 5: Sharing Complete Emotional and Personal Truth. By opening ourselves up at this deep level we take a huge risk of being rejected. This true self-disclosure involves a deep sense of openness and transparency. “I feel utterly useless. I see so much wrong happening and I either can’t or just don’t do anything about it. If I try to help it always seems to fail. Sometimes I doubt that God is there at all when I see such dejected situations.”

Ok, so now you understand the background I will expand.
I miss this. This is one of the things that makes me feel “international home-sick.” I had this Level 5 in a small group I was in while living in Sri Lanka. I miss it. I need it. This back and forth of deep sharing, helps get to the root of problems and the honesty is so helpful when you need peace in life. Its how in the midst of so much violence and hate, I was kept sane. I have tried to find groups/individuals like this group since, but for the most part no one wants to go there! (Note: I have found some individuals, but not multiple people and not a group.) The key of this openness in sharing is having it go both ways. Having a group/individuals in which you can share at a deep level with is great, but even more important I think is the sharing others do with you. Without bilateral sharing you end up opening and giving little bits of yourself to people. If said group/individual only returns conversation at a three level they are giving you teaspoons of themselves and you are dealing them gallons. Giving gallons and only receiving teaspoons will then leave you feeling primarily EMPTY, drained and/or emotionally dehydrated; but you could also feel angry, sad that the other person can’t open up, and confused as to whether that person is honest even in the sharing they do disclose. The other person is not a bad person, they just don’t open up. Traversing past this realization point is difficult. Do you work at making the group/individual comfortable- give them time or reassuring, do you throw in the towel and say, “hey it’s a good group/person with whom to be superficial friends,” or do you leave and never look back?
In the small group that Jamie and I are starting, I hope we all get on the same page and stay there!
Peace,
Jodi
(oh one more thing. I am going to Eastern Ohio to the Millers’ house on Friday!!! Robin will be there and Sarah and Paul! I worked with all of them in Big Bang. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I AM TOO COOL

January 15, 2011
Hello All!!!
It hasn’t even been a month and I am writing!! I SO win! Well let’s see now. Christmas has now come and gone (well the more focused part of celebrating Christ’s birth has gone). It was nice to be able to work part time this month as I hadn’t had a full home Christmas holiday in four years. It was really lovely spending time with the family. It however was a bit hard, as I thought it might be. All of my siblings now have children of their own and half have multiple children. I think the only reason we arranged to have our family Christmas celebration on Christmas day was because I basically said I would cry if we didn’t. Everyone has sort of grown up and started their own families; well at least they have started their own families. Its just mom, dad, me and uncle Ron now. Anyway, it was good. Everyone was there and that felt super. I love having a big family. We are so goofy and odd. Good times indeed.
For new years I had a great trip around visiting people. On Thursday the 30th I met up with a former co-workers family (Phil’s family for those of you who know my work in the Big Bang). They were hosting Shuvo, another former co-worker’s son. Shuvo is from Bangladesh and his father worked for the same organization where I worked. He is attending Hesston. We spoke Bangla a bit. It was nice to pick it up a bit again, as I don’t have much practice anymore. He was very grateful to be able to speak it with someone as well. I would imagine it would be hard to never be able to speak your native tongue with someone other than on the phone. Anyway, I met up with this crew at Fair Oaks Dairy in Indiana. We toured there and talked about cows! Yea!!! Cows!! It was really a nice day. After the tour, I went back to their residence and we played games and had much merriment. Their family reminds me much of my own; well if you replace the cows with goats. It was also sort of fun to be able to put the name of a goat with the actual goat. You see, my former co-worker (Phil) really likes goats, and not everyone likes to hear about goats. Since I have a livestock education and background, love animals in general and like to listen to people talk about things they are passionate about, I on a few occasions was regaled for hours on end with stories of Phil’s goats. I enjoyed it…most of the time ;-) Anyway, the point is that there were goats I got to meet that I already knew the history of! It was a great visit and I really enjoyed getting to know the whole family.
From there I drove to Columbus, OH and met my friend Deb who was up from North Carolina. Deb and I have been friends since before we can recall. It was so nice to spend some time with her as those moments are becoming few and far between. We went to a pub, did karaoke, and criticized everyone there. It was a magical evening. The next morning we went to breakfast with another friend I hadn’t seen in over four years. Conversation was great! As I get along in years, I’ve found conversation a much more intriguing option. Don’t get me wrong, I still love to run and play, but if I can do those things with people I really like to converse with it’s all the merrier. Anyway, she had to leave by 3:00 so I went to visit my sister. I then decided just to stay the night there and return home in the morning. It was a nice evening playing with the niece and nephew. Phoebe said my name really clearly a few times and that was exciting. It is nice being able to see my nieces and nephews grow and have them know who I am.
In January I started full time at Humane Ohio. There are days I leave early and days I arrive at 7 am and don’t leave until 6pm. Last week however was a slow one and I was quite grateful for that. I took Katie to get spayed on the 4th. It was sort of fun to see it from an owner’s perspective. She is back to her old self now and doing great. I really like the people there and the work I do. I , however, do not know if this is where God is leading me long term or not.
The final bit I will write is about quiz. I am helping out with the local Bible quiz league and that has been really great. Another girl and I are in charge of prizes and quite frankly…we are totally cool and give sweet prizes! It is also a nice social time as some of the volunteers do an after quiz get together. Last week I taught everyone the game “Red and Black”. Hilarity ensued.
Well, I am tired and need to review more quiz material, as I am a judge tomorrow.
Peace,
jodi

Holiday Update

December 17, 2010 (some of you may recieve this in my holiday card/letter)
Merry Christmas!! This year has brought a whole host of changes. Last year I was celebrating Christmas and New Years in Bangladesh and Malaysia with a great group of non-biological family. This year will be with my family and friends.
In July I finished up my term with MCC in South Asia. This was such an integral part of my life and it has been hard adjusting back into American life. I do however feel God working through this to help me grow nearer to the Lord. I am currently living at home with my parents, 2 sisters and their husbands and one nephew and one niece. Living with family like so many other things has it’s ups and down. I am learning a lot about adjusting and also about being me.
In November I started a job at Humane Ohio, a low-cost spay/neuter clinic in Toledo, Ohio. I really love the people I work with and the mission of the organization is to have no more homeless pets. I can really get behind that and I have. We do on average around 60 animals (cats and dogs) a day. Because we are specialized and can be very efficient, we keep the cost very low. We have clients from many breed rescue organizations and shelters from the surrounding counties. Even though I have a job, I am still looking for other jobs and trying to discern where else, if anywhere, God is leading me.
I am also working with my sister on creating a business plan for our home farm. We would like to “expand” into community supported, locally raised farm products. Currently we are looking at expanding our garden, fruit orchard, chicken/turkey housing, and modification of the cow barn into an automated milking set-up. In the summer I hope to have canning classes. I am really excited about this and we have started researching alternative agriculture methods and business plans. We are also praying for a method to fund all of this.
Year in highlight:
• Went to World Dairy Expo with my parents. It was their first time!
• Visited Sri Lanka and the UK!
• Started a paying job!
• Will be helping out with area Bible Quiz!!
• Ate lots of sandwiches.
• Started marathon training. (May ‘11- Indianapolis 500 Half-marathon, October ’11 Detroit Marathon)
• New niece Adalynn was baptized and I am one of the sponsors! Total number of nieces and nephews is now seven!
• Found someone in the area that speaks Bangla. (One of Humane Ohio’s vet’s husband’s family is originally from Dhaka.)
• The FAIR!!!!
Highlight Lesson of the Year:
Love. I learned a lot about love. I think I learn about this most every year, and I think its pretty important. I don’t know why, but I seem to have a heart for the rejected, dejected and lost. This, I’ve found, is really hard. Normally, people and things have a capability to give you back some of the love you give them. This group tends not to be able to do this. That leaves a person giving and giving and not really receiving. Now here lies the important part. Loving someone should not depend on them reciprocating that love. Jesus didn’t say, “poo poo” to the people that didn’t love him. He loved them even when- especially when- the love was not returned. It is through God we are filled with love and not necessarily through the reciprocation of those we love. I know this sounds like common sense, but I’ve found in practice it is not so simple. One person or thing rejects us and we say, “poo on you! I don’t need you anyway.” If someone said, “great! I love you anyway” we’d think them insane, but I am convinced that is what we are to do. As I grow I hope to get better at this.
I hope you have a blessed holiday season and a happy “new year.”

Peace, Hope and Love,
Jodi R. Crossgrove

Long Time Gone Update

June 27, 2010
Yarg!!! Its been a while. I should write more often, but life has been crazy as of late. May was good; it was the same old stuff, but good. Early May we had a training on how to facilitate the Visions and Values training. That was fun. Then Robin and I went to Darjeeling to do some trekking which turned out to be a big adventure. I'll talk about that now.

We went by bus which was alright. It however started out with a bit of a jolt. I was just about to fall asleep when I felt some wide projections come through the seat and tickle my bum, and then again. Having had men try and touch me inappropriately while sleeping on busses is well known by me, so you can see how logical my reaction was. I was IRRATE!!! I quickly grabbed the projections and twisted. Well at the same time I heard the lady behind me yelp and I turned to scowl at the jerk that was trying to touch me. However, when I turned around the man was sleeping and the woman had her feet up...up and poking through my seat....oppps. Its actually pretty funny now. Anyway, it took us about 17hours total to get to Darjeeling from Bogra. The last 3 were spent in a jeep and there was about a 4 hour wait at the boarder. We got a hotel and looked around. I wanted to get some cash from the ATM but it was late and we decided its not safe to get cash at night. The next morning the “fun” happened. There was an assassination of a high ranking party official. It was near one of the places we thought we might go for breakfast. Luckily we didn't go there or we would have met with 40 men carrying machetes. However, after that Darjeeling was closed!!! Literally...everything. No ATMs no tourist information no restaurants; nothing was open. We needed to arrange things for our trek but nothing was open and even if it were, we didn't have any money to pay with. So, we left with a group of people headed to Sikkim (the state north of West Bengal). There were ATMs open there. However we had to travel to a town that was about 2 hours out of the way b/c Sikkim requires a permit to enter. (You can get the permit in Darjeeling...when things are open.) We had no money to pay our room bill so the hotel just let us leave on the premise that we would come back through and pay then. (which we of course did!) It is now September 22nd and I am finally getting around to finish this blog!!!! Robin went to arrange for us to stay at a farm in Chamrong near Jorthang while I pack everything up. We went down to the jeep stand, hired a van and were off to Rangpo to get our permit. I was the lucky one that got to sit in the middle of the front seat and straddle the gear shift. Second gear was not my favourite as it meant that the driver must cross the line into my “private square” (it's not my terminology, but it works). Despite one stop for an overheating engine and one for a blown tire we arrived in time to get our permits. However, Robin and I missed all the taxi's to Jorthang. Angered a bit by the unaccommodating taxi stand personnel- one of which told us it was too far to walk to Jorthang. “Thank-you very much. I normally ask people at the taxi stand how long it takes to WALK places.” Anyway, we had to call the farm and tell them we would not arrive until tomorrow. The phone in the telecom shop did not work so a nice gentleman let us use his cell phone. We tired to pay him for the usage but he would not allow it. Having over-heard our predicament he also offered to drive us to Jorthang and put us up for the night; it was too dark to make it to the farm. While at his apartment all interaction went through his female housemate. The fed us dinner, tea, breakfast and another tea before taking us to the jeep stand and helping us get on the correct jeep. They never asked for anything, no money, no photo, nothing. It was amazing. I don't even know his name; her's was Sabina.
The home-stay at the farm was great!! It was so relaxing and peaceful. The owner was sweet and her adopted daughter loved having visitors. The food was fantastic too. There was this cheese curry that was to die for and on evening Robin and I helped to make the noodles for our soup dinner. On the last day we finally got a great cloud free view of the mountains and it was breathtaking!!! Such beautifully created earth leaves me speechless. From the farm we went to Pelling and stayed there one night. The night in Pelling Robin and I opted for the traditional Sikkimese meal. It started with a warm local millet beer. I wasn't all that fond of it as it tasted like what corn silage would taste like if you poured warm water over it. Man did it pack a punch though! It warmed me up after about 2 sips. Anyway the rest of the meal was a stout soup and momos. Yummy!!! The next morning we visited a monastery and some ruins of Sikkim's days of monarchy. From there we went to Yuksum. It is in a valley and has some wonderful hiking around it. There had been a lot of rain the previous days and so some of the hikes were a bit tough. Day one, we encountered an avalanche. I learned that day that you never go over an avalanche. It was scary and I cried a bit because I had to walk under a very large tree stump and roots clump. After we finally made it across, there was yet another avalanche that blocked our path, only this time there was another path. This path was a local path and was steep, but luckily there was a woman and her daughter collecting fire wood. Despite the fact that she knew no English whatsoever and there are only a few words that are the same in Bangla and Nepali, she was unthwarted by the difficulties in communication. I was very grateful for her persistence.
The next day we did a hike to a mountain top lake. It was a long and difficult trek. We might have gotten lost on the way there if not for a friendly lone hiker we picked up. He knew Nepali. It was a 4 hour hike there and we had planned to take a jeep back, but rain the day before made the roads impassible. We ate a quick lunch, looked at the lake and headed back. Our friend decided to stay at the lake for the evening, and so Robin and I got really lost. Where is Lena when you need her?? So, Robin and I stumbled onto a local path that dropped us almost straight down the side of a mountain. It was so steep at one point that I had to sit down and slide, lest I fall over. But as it was turning out the whole trip was full of unplanned paths that led to outcome that were better than expected. This unplanned path led us not 200m from a beautiful waterfall. The next days we spent on shorter walks, reading, or drinking tea.
On the day we wanted to return to Darjeeling there was a strike so we spent one more day in Yuksom and then onto Darjeeling. It was a completely different city when it was open. There were stores open and it was cool. My favourite place was called....ummm oh dear I can't remember....but it served me up a porcine feast for breakfast. I ate the leftovers on the bus home for both dinner and supper.

Ok, so now I will try and remember what happened the rest of May through September...yikes.

May:
was grumpy...it was hot

June:
finished all three Bangla ag ed movies and debuted them!
My birthday party
went to spa for last time
last monthly meeting
Oh oh. We had our Visions and Values training and that went really well. I was very pleased.
had bollywood make-up happy fun farewell party for Iris, Ben, Robin, Joyce and I

July
farewell Bangladesh :-(
Iris came with me to Sri Lanka. We saw great sites like P&A, House of Fashions, Deep and Bella. Nina and Jonas were also visiting so we went to a cello concert Nina played in. We also took a bus to Trinco. There is no A/C bus to Trinco; its just an ordinary packed to the brim bus. Iris learned the hard way why I think Bangladesh inter-city buses are nice. Hee hee. It was bad when she got whacked in the head with a few bags. It was a pretty uneventful trip minus the fact that just outside of Kurunegala (grimace grimace) we saw a man that had hung himself. It was not good; the image is still in my brain. Other than that it was a good ride. The beach was fantastic!! We saw 10 other people at most. We body boarded on some great waves and ate lots of Sri Lankan beach fare. I also introduced Iris to arrak and coke. It was magical!!! After that we went back to Colombo and stayed with Dorothy and Prabo. Iris left and I stayed another week. During that time I went to Madampe; visited Shiloni and family, Navin, and Peshala; and read books. It was nice. It was sad to leave Sri Lanka again but it seems to be getting easier each time.
Next I went to the UK. Nigel picked me up from the airport and it spent time with the Rachel and Nigel. We visited a stately home (Bently House...where they filmed the British version of Pride and Prejudice!). One day Rachel and I went to a spa that was also nice, but mostly I just enjoyed hanging out with them. From there I took a train down passed London to a place called Sutton where my friends Jonas and Nina live. While there I got to visit with some other friends, Abigail and Ben and Shiyani. It was fun-tastic
Got home!!! Jill Dad and Janae met me at the airport and we took the South Shores line to South Bend and then drove home...it was a good way to get home, because we missed all the traffic. We got home at about 11:30pm and I got up and left the next morning at 4:30am to go to the state fair.
I worked at the state fair. It was fun! My sister also worked and so I just stayed with her and her family for those two weeks. I was also able to visit my friend Chris.

August:
Cattle training
moving Janelle, Chris and Sammy
grinding feed
job searching
applying for jobs

September
The FAIR!! It was district 10 show at Fulton County this year and that brings in some cool farmers that I like to converse with. I also got to show with my nephew Lane who is 2 ½. It was a bit harder that I thought. One hand was holding onto the calf the other to Lane. Man was my arm tired!!! It was a great fair.
Got hit on by scary carnie.
Now I am planning a trip to World Dairy Expo. My dad has never gone and our neighbours the Mellers asked if he and mom wanted to go. I think my dad feels bad for taking vacations, so I made the decision that he would go. So it will be me, my parents and our neighbours in a Caddy to Wisconsin. I'll also meet up with my friend Beth! I am pretty excited.
Currently I am at my friend Deb's in North Carolina. She was up in Ohio visiting her sister Michelle who had some problems in he cancer treatment and was in the hospital. I also went to visit Michelle with my sister Janelle and then stayed and came back to NC with Deb. Deb's brother is down in South Carolina for a race and will go back to Columbus at the end of the week and I will hitch a ride back with him.
Ok, consider yourself updated
Peace
jodi

Deep and Wide

April 28, 2010
Hello again, it’s been a while but not all that long. I ended last blog on a busy note, and since then the tidal wave of projects has subsided and I am actually left quite free from stressors and can afford to take my time on things.
We started milk collection in Dimla!! The first day was...well a first day; everything went wrong. However Mokhles, Sidul and I were there for that very reason and we figured things out...mostly. We are working with Milk Vita (a farmer co-op with government backing), which is actually a good program. Most of the high-ups seem to genuinely care about the industry and the farmers. The man at the area center where we sell is a bit of a...well he just give off the shady vibe. He also indirectly suggested (from what I could tell) that we skim more off the top. However, it is still our best option. It serves our goal to increase availability to different markets. It is really far to their collection center however, so we give the evening milk (which is 1/3 to 2/3 less than AM milk) to BRAC. They have a center in Dimla. When we get enough milk in the evenings (~150L) we will van gari or nosiman (2 wheeled tractor with flatbed) it into Domar where the MV plant is located. We got 95L yesterday morning (the second day) and 120 the next. We are now consistently around 110 to 130L in the mornings and 30L in the evenings. I think it will grow. We just need it to grow fast because right now we have to subsidize the transport. We aren't sending enough to cover the transport to Domar. I really think it will come though. Its already doing its job- people are getting a better price from all area markets. However, we need to make it sustainable, and as of now it is not. I think it will come.
Oh yes and we opened our AI centers this week! We have chutes (metal places to restrain the cows) and all. We are getting semen from the gov. and we purchased the liquid N and tanks from Dhaka. There are some kinks yet to iron out. On both the milk and ai centers we need better book keeping. I had designed a system for the semen tanks that also kept record of N levels, but some people seem to think they are too difficult. Having taken a lot of time to arrange ideas to get only the information we needed in a quick and concise manner, I was disappointed when they were vetoed. I find myself after four years in Asia being quite a stickler on record keeping. Other people don't seem to be. Anyway, we opened them and seem to have had over-the-top liquid N losses. I am trying to figure that out now, but we don't have any records of it other than mental notes. Anyway, we'll work it out.
Other work notes:
• Finishing UTS video
• Preparing proposal for NZAID to get a blade shearing training in Bangladesh.
• Meetings on next years research projects.
• Meetings on values training
On to personal stuff. Since getting back from Cambodia, I have been having much internal conflict. A lot of this has to do with the uncertainty of what will happen after I finish my contract in July, trying to find God's will and wondering why it deviates so much from the plan I thought would be good for my life. Don't get me wrong, I know God's plan is best and I will seek and do it even if I don't want to too. I know it will always work out for the good of those who love God, even if I can't always see that good ending from the get go. It's like sometimes when I am driving a car and I think, “it would be so cool to jump this bridge and land on top of that semi, like they do in the movies.” Although it may be fun for a short while, in the end I would probably suffer from a severe case of deadness. If I go straight I'll probably live and who knows maybe I'll hit a sweet on ramp. Those are fun and don't usually induce deadness. I think that is what following God's will is like for me sometimes. I don't know if that makes sense to you. Maybe if it does you are as nuts as me. Who knows?
I also have financial fears. Not the normal type, I am concerned about getting a job that pays well. It is easy for me to depend on God at this point in my life. I have no money to fall back on, no family to have to support, and not a whole lot around me to want. If I make money and am back in the states there will be this “stuff” that other people have and I don't. That will make it hard. Here I also have a tight group of Christian friends all living in a similar situation. I feel God is calling me to live “radically” and in a way that won't be easy. I say this because I had a dream. Now normally I don't pull anything out of dreams that is significant, but this particular dream I did. I put more clout behind this because God was there. I didn't see God, but there is no doubt God was there. I was swimming in my pond at home and there was a great whirlpool pulling me to the center. Just beneath the surface of the water were the New and Old Testaments of the Bible; not like pages...but they were there. It was rough and I was trying to swim out of this terrible whirlpool that was pulling me down. God was there though, always, and the Bible was supporting me in the water. So there I was trying to swim to God when I awoke. While at retreat 3weeks earlier I had used a whirlpool picture on my “river of life” to signify my college year which were tough and rewarding. See? It is a good one, no? So...living radically and following God through rough waters....here I come!
At the same time as all this God's will searching, I was also having some self doubts. I care way to much what other people think of me. I let people have the power to make me feel bad about myself. I am changing this now. I was walking down the street near shath matha in Bogra one evening. I was already feeling low because earlier that day I had let someones unkind words sink in and affect me. Then someone on the street grabbed me inappropriately. Having someone treat you like that is terrible. It is like you are nothing other than an object, a remote control to lose in the couch when you are finished with TV watching. I was so angry; I forgot all my good bangla retorts except for asking him if he had no shame. After I got that one bangla phrase in I just yell some un-family, sailor-like comments at the man. He had run across the street and I wanted to give chase, but it was Shat Matha and he ran through a gap that came and went in seconds. If you know traffic in Bangladesh, you know why I couldn't cross the street. Anyway, I was so angry I walked all the way home (6km?). I was still seething with anger. I basically couldn't eat for the next 5 days because the anger sat in my stomach. I am better now though. I am also now making it a point to take some good advice I learned in a movie (The Princess Diaries), and that is, “No one can make you feel bad about yourself, without your consent.” Just as I make a conscious effort to choose to be happy in all situations, I now also choose to not give my consent to people who try- be it direct or indirect- to make me feel bad about myself. I will no longer give my consent to let others make me feel bad about me!
So, its been a busy month and an emotional roller coaster. Go Team!
Oh! And I got caught in a downpour. That was a good thing because I love the rain!
Thank you all for listening.
Peace,
Jodi

Jellyfish

April 4, 2010
Happy Easter!!! I love Easter! It is my favorite holiday. I like the meaning of it. It's perfect. This morning I went to an Easter Sunrise Service at the parliament building. It is put on by all the churches in Dhaka and just about every Christian in Dhaka goes. It was all in Bangla, but I still understood most of it. The songs were also printed in a bulletin so I read them slowly when possible. The police were also there with riot gear just in case any fundamentalist group came to try and prove some point or something. I got back only yesterday from a 2 week trip to Cambodia.

While in Cambodia we had a week of spiritual retreat by the sea in the south of Cambodia (Siahnoukville). Andy and Lana Miller are service workers there that do area program coordination stuff (This is not how they explained it but is my oversimplification.) They met us at the airport and we went straight to the beach. It is a 4 hour drive and about half way our bus broke down. We had to wait another 2 hours for a new bus to come and pick us up. No one really complained, as we live in Bangladesh we are used to such happenings. (For Example: When driving in to Dhaka before the Cambodia trip my bus blew a tire; we fixed it and went on our way. Then we sideswiped another bus an knocked of it's side mirror. We had to stop for a skirmish about that. However, the skirmish of flying fists was not enough and the other bus decided to ram us from behind and throw a wrench/spanner through our rear windshield, more fists; cops arrive and all is better.) Anyway, our hotel was nice and the beach was a short walk. In the mornings we had worship and then sessions. Our sessions were about self and personalities. Andy and Lana did a GREAT job planning these! They were really helpful, but also kind of difficult. Its hard to introspect and then share it with others. One comment was,
“I thought we were just going to be reading and relaxing on the beach; this is hard!” It was hard but good. In the afternoons we had free time for relaxing and whatnot. I did a little swimming in the ocean, ocean kayaking, snorkeling, frisbee, sandcastling, and reading/chillaxing.
After the ocean stay we went back to Phnom Penh (capitol of Cambodia) and did some shopping, eating and meeting of the MCC Cambodia staffs. From there I took some vacation time and went to the temples at Angkor with some others from MCC-Bang. It was really nice. One day we went around some of the temples on bike. Minus the first 5 km- the part of the journey where my tire got low and then completely blew out- it was a great day! The temples are ruins from thousands of years ago and are spread over a 15 or so kilometer radius. (I'll have pictures on facebook soon.)
After that we were back in Phnom Penh for one more day. We visited a place called Toul Sleng. It is a detention facility cum museum documenting some of the genocidal atrocities of the Khmer Rouge regime (Rouge standing for communist red.) from 1975 to 1979. It was very sad to see. I feel however more disconnected nothingness than anything else and that scares me a little. It most likely has to do with a combination of events of violence- common shock if you are familiar with that term- witnessed over the years (particularly in the last four). I still don't like the reaction.
Anyway, I am back now and sitting around typing this in the absence of electricity. It has been out for a few hours now. Let me finish up by reviewing other events of the month.
Purchased semen tanks for Monga project, networked with persons in charge of getting us semen, and began set up of the 3 new centers. Also, I worked on designing a good and simple record keeping system. I hope it gets utilized.
The circus was in Bogra and we went to that. It was cute.
More Bible studies
Networking with milk buyers (its still not going so well.)
Thats it really.
Peace
Jodi

March is Here

Monday, March 1, 2010
It hasn't been all that busy since last I updated my blog.
February saw the visit of a group of people involved with Canadian Food Grains Bank. It is the organization that funds a majority of the Monga Project. It also funds me (through MCC, but I am actually part of the project budget). One man had never been out of Canada and had only been on a plane once in his life, and they did HOMESTAYS in the village!! We were counting one day, while we were driving between farmer visits, how many “firsts” he had had on the trip thus far. They were many. I was really impressed with how well the group did. Perhaps sometime I am too worried about offending people that I hold back a little too much, and that is what I took from the group visit. It was nice.
On the 13th Iris- the SALTer that we inherited due to visa constrictions in India- arrived and Ben and I went down to Dhaka to greet her. It was also Ben's birthday so there was a joint welcome/birthday dinner held at Austin and Marita's. The next day Robin convinced me to stay in Dhaka and leave on the 15th. That night (the 14th) we (Robin, Ben, Iris, Phil and I) went to Barbeque Tonight for kebabs and naan. It was YUMMY! Then the girls and Ben watched Phantom of the Opera!!! Magic. Ben must watch it again though b/c he fell asleep. No one can figure out exactly how he fell asleep though, as we sort of made the movie a sing-along and were quite loud. Oh yes, while in Dhaka Mokhles and I went to visit Milk Vita (a milk co-operative) in another one of our networking/market acquisition attempts. I think we hit the jackpot with this one. (Background: Right now there are about 2000 cows either given by MCC or birthed by a given animal. Soon this amount of production will saturate the market in the area, as it is a remote area with only one milk collection place. To avoid farmers getting ripped off because there is no market, Mokhles and I have been visiting different milk purchasers and trying to get them to visit the area to asses it for future possibilities.) It already has a collection point 20km southwest of Dimla, so they sort of know the area. Also, they give their farmers a good amount of benefits and we could purchase semen from them. It seems to be a win-win if we can get them to set up a milk collection point in Dimla. I really hope it works out.
Ok, later that week I went to visit some MCC projects in Birampur, Dinajpur District. We work with some Catholic missions up there. It all athibashi (indigenous) persons so there are pig projects! It was nice to get out and see other projects. We spent the night in one of the missions and the next morning I attended the morning mass. I didn't understand much, if any, but it was calming and the acoustics rang beautifully. That day was good, but involved much riding on motorcycles. Here starts the story. So, the first day we had taken motorcycles from the bus stand to the mission which took maybe 20 min. I was riding on the back of Rahim's bike and thought it would be appropriate to ride side saddle- an activity that scares me a lot. Rahim is a good driver however and it was alright. The rest of the day we rode van-gari (flat-bed bikes) around for visits so it wasn't bad. The next day I got to ride with Monir, who is a bit younger. He put both foot pedals down for me, so I took that as a sign that he was ok with me riding straddled. I thought this would be much more comfortable, but the comfort was diminished by the fact that I was trying my best not to touch him. So, I ended up spending 45min on a bike leaning slightly back, bar digging into my bum and legs trying not to touch the person in front of me. Wow! It was not comfortable. Despite all that, it was a breathtaking ride on a gorgeous day. (Oh mind you, these bikes were only 80cc.) However, when we got to the village to visit, it was found that the bike that Nate and Shyam were on only had one foot peddle in the rear. So on the way to the next place, I was back to sitting side saddle again. I found out later that one of the shocks on this bike was broken and on the bumpy roads we were on, disaster loomed. So, here is was on the back of an 80cc bike with broken shocks sitting side saddle. The roads were tiny dirt roads not short on bumps and holes. I nearly fell off 3 times when we swerved around a bump or hit a hole. I was literally praying over and over, “Please God don't let me die, please God don't let me die!” You know your in bad shape when God answers you prayer by causing the bike you are riding on to fall apart while you are riding on it. I have never been so happy to have a breakdown in my life!!! In the end Nate and I rode on the mechanically sound bike and Shyam and Monir the other. That day we spent over 40km on those tiny bikes. When we finally got to the bus, I didn't want to sit down. My bum hurt that bad! The whole 2.5 hour bus ride was spent in pain. It mad me grumpy!
Well, I got home from those visits just in time to take a shower and then the Millers were there for dinner. Maria (my baburchi- house help) had already cooked dinner and had everything sitting on the table. I avoided sitting. The Millers came from Dhaka for the weekend. Marita stayed at my house and the boys stayed at the “bari” (comment on this blog if you don't know what the bari is). The next day, Iris came from Mymensingh and we all spent the day at the bari making a brick oven. I did masonry! It was fun, but it dried out my hands like no other. Also, while cleaning things up for the night, I sliced my hand on some wire mesh. It is ok now but it hurt something fierce for that night and the next day. At Bible group the next day I had Karin (Daniel's mom, a doctor) look at it. She said we did a good job pushing it together and then gave me a prescription for some antibiotics just in case. In the end I couldn't find the right drugs at a near-by pharmacy and by the time I was near a big pharmacy I figured I didn't need them. It looks good now and only hurts when I forget its there and hit it or lean on it.
The Monga Project was on the news on the 22nd. While they were shooting I tried my darnedest to stay out of the shots, but I was in it still. Ugg for me, but yea for my farmers and the project as a whole. I am still working on the UTS training video and some easy feed calculations for cattle. That is a process. I am also trying to put together a motivational event in the form of an agricultural fair. I am really excited but it is big and I am having trouble starting.
Next month I will go to Cambodia with the MCC expats. We are having a spiritual retreat and then I am spending a weeks vacation there.
Would appreciate prayers for discernment on what I should do after my term is up here. I have applied to 2 grad schools, but also wouldn't mind staying around home and working for a while. We shall see.
Peace
Jodi