February 2, 2011
Hey! It has not been that long since last I updated. I was a bit surprised to find that people in the US still read my blog. I was approached twice the other Sunday at church by people telling me to “hang in there” and that they were praying for me. To be honest, I had to go back and re-read my last blog as I was not sure about what they were talking.
January I started full time at work. I still really like the people I work with and am generally happy there. Pangs of international homesickness come still, and I have even applied for some overseas jobs again. I still don’t know what I am doing, but am ok with that for now. We recently implemented some changes in strategy for the work day and that means my mind has to organize to a new routine and get fast and efficient at that routine once again. This is frustrating as I am by nature a slow person. Combine a new routine, a speedy surgeon, my slowness and 46 cats (20 of which are in foul moods) and you have me taking 5 min in a corner to collect myself while a few co-workers awkwardly watch and feel bad. Everyone is very nice about my slowness. I however have no grace for myself. I’ve now been there three whole months, I should be perfect!
Quiz is going really well, and I am having so much fun trying to get prizes that match the scripture. It is good times. I am now also regularly volunteering at Ten Thousand Villages. It makes me a bit “home” sick, but I love to share stories with anyone who will listen. They have gift registry there and I am so tempted to get engaged just so I can register! I keep telling my friends to get married and register there, so I can buy them gifts. As of yet, no one has taken the bait.
Oh yes, for the month of February I am house-sitting in Perrysburg. Instead of an hour and 5 min commute, I now drive 35min!!! It is great. It is also really nice to be alone for a bit. I do like living with my family, but I don’t think I had been alone in a house for more than an hour since July 6!!! It has been such a blessing, especially today. There was “snowmagydon” last night and work was cancelled today!!! I had a place to stay close to work when the weather was frightful. Praise be to God for that one!! The plow person that did the driveway was almost unable to make it through the first 2 big drifts at the top of the driveway. Crazy!!
My friend Jamie and I are trying to start a small group Bible study and have been encountering difficulties in its start-up. Awesomely enough, there was an evening workshoppy thing on starting small groups that I signed up for and went to at our church. It was really nice, and I learned some new was to organize, implement and focus in a small group setting. One of the topics made me really think back to my old small group in Sri Lanka. It was the topic of self-disclosure; I’ll write more on that topic now. This idea of 5 levels is from a book, but I don’t know what book, so forgive the lack of citation. I have paraphrased and rephrased a lot of this.
Self-disclosure is the key to closeness in a group. The more you can know about each other’s situations and feelings, the more helpful you can be to each other. But self-disclosure is risky! How deep does your sharing go?
Level 1: Cliché Conversation. Such communication is safe. Topics include the weather, family, and friends. Uses such phrases as, “how are you?” or “I like your shirt”
Level 2: Sharing Information and Facts. Events, ideas, and facts are talked about but not the self. “At work today, we had a speaker come in.”
Level 3: Sharing Ideas and Opinions. This is where some real communication begins. “It would be a good idea to decrease welfare and increase social health care.”
Level 4: Sharing Feelings. At this level we communicate how we feel about the facts, ideas and opinions. “It makes me so sad to see people I care about have so many financial problems due to unexpected health care.”
Level 5: Sharing Complete Emotional and Personal Truth. By opening ourselves up at this deep level we take a huge risk of being rejected. This true self-disclosure involves a deep sense of openness and transparency. “I feel utterly useless. I see so much wrong happening and I either can’t or just don’t do anything about it. If I try to help it always seems to fail. Sometimes I doubt that God is there at all when I see such dejected situations.”
Ok, so now you understand the background I will expand.
I miss this. This is one of the things that makes me feel “international home-sick.” I had this Level 5 in a small group I was in while living in Sri Lanka. I miss it. I need it. This back and forth of deep sharing, helps get to the root of problems and the honesty is so helpful when you need peace in life. Its how in the midst of so much violence and hate, I was kept sane. I have tried to find groups/individuals like this group since, but for the most part no one wants to go there! (Note: I have found some individuals, but not multiple people and not a group.) The key of this openness in sharing is having it go both ways. Having a group/individuals in which you can share at a deep level with is great, but even more important I think is the sharing others do with you. Without bilateral sharing you end up opening and giving little bits of yourself to people. If said group/individual only returns conversation at a three level they are giving you teaspoons of themselves and you are dealing them gallons. Giving gallons and only receiving teaspoons will then leave you feeling primarily EMPTY, drained and/or emotionally dehydrated; but you could also feel angry, sad that the other person can’t open up, and confused as to whether that person is honest even in the sharing they do disclose. The other person is not a bad person, they just don’t open up. Traversing past this realization point is difficult. Do you work at making the group/individual comfortable- give them time or reassuring, do you throw in the towel and say, “hey it’s a good group/person with whom to be superficial friends,” or do you leave and never look back?
In the small group that Jamie and I are starting, I hope we all get on the same page and stay there!
Peace,
Jodi
(oh one more thing. I am going to Eastern Ohio to the Millers’ house on Friday!!! Robin will be there and Sarah and Paul! I worked with all of them in Big Bang. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Hey! It has not been that long since last I updated. I was a bit surprised to find that people in the US still read my blog. I was approached twice the other Sunday at church by people telling me to “hang in there” and that they were praying for me. To be honest, I had to go back and re-read my last blog as I was not sure about what they were talking.
January I started full time at work. I still really like the people I work with and am generally happy there. Pangs of international homesickness come still, and I have even applied for some overseas jobs again. I still don’t know what I am doing, but am ok with that for now. We recently implemented some changes in strategy for the work day and that means my mind has to organize to a new routine and get fast and efficient at that routine once again. This is frustrating as I am by nature a slow person. Combine a new routine, a speedy surgeon, my slowness and 46 cats (20 of which are in foul moods) and you have me taking 5 min in a corner to collect myself while a few co-workers awkwardly watch and feel bad. Everyone is very nice about my slowness. I however have no grace for myself. I’ve now been there three whole months, I should be perfect!
Quiz is going really well, and I am having so much fun trying to get prizes that match the scripture. It is good times. I am now also regularly volunteering at Ten Thousand Villages. It makes me a bit “home” sick, but I love to share stories with anyone who will listen. They have gift registry there and I am so tempted to get engaged just so I can register! I keep telling my friends to get married and register there, so I can buy them gifts. As of yet, no one has taken the bait.
Oh yes, for the month of February I am house-sitting in Perrysburg. Instead of an hour and 5 min commute, I now drive 35min!!! It is great. It is also really nice to be alone for a bit. I do like living with my family, but I don’t think I had been alone in a house for more than an hour since July 6!!! It has been such a blessing, especially today. There was “snowmagydon” last night and work was cancelled today!!! I had a place to stay close to work when the weather was frightful. Praise be to God for that one!! The plow person that did the driveway was almost unable to make it through the first 2 big drifts at the top of the driveway. Crazy!!
My friend Jamie and I are trying to start a small group Bible study and have been encountering difficulties in its start-up. Awesomely enough, there was an evening workshoppy thing on starting small groups that I signed up for and went to at our church. It was really nice, and I learned some new was to organize, implement and focus in a small group setting. One of the topics made me really think back to my old small group in Sri Lanka. It was the topic of self-disclosure; I’ll write more on that topic now. This idea of 5 levels is from a book, but I don’t know what book, so forgive the lack of citation. I have paraphrased and rephrased a lot of this.
Self-disclosure is the key to closeness in a group. The more you can know about each other’s situations and feelings, the more helpful you can be to each other. But self-disclosure is risky! How deep does your sharing go?
Level 1: Cliché Conversation. Such communication is safe. Topics include the weather, family, and friends. Uses such phrases as, “how are you?” or “I like your shirt”
Level 2: Sharing Information and Facts. Events, ideas, and facts are talked about but not the self. “At work today, we had a speaker come in.”
Level 3: Sharing Ideas and Opinions. This is where some real communication begins. “It would be a good idea to decrease welfare and increase social health care.”
Level 4: Sharing Feelings. At this level we communicate how we feel about the facts, ideas and opinions. “It makes me so sad to see people I care about have so many financial problems due to unexpected health care.”
Level 5: Sharing Complete Emotional and Personal Truth. By opening ourselves up at this deep level we take a huge risk of being rejected. This true self-disclosure involves a deep sense of openness and transparency. “I feel utterly useless. I see so much wrong happening and I either can’t or just don’t do anything about it. If I try to help it always seems to fail. Sometimes I doubt that God is there at all when I see such dejected situations.”
Ok, so now you understand the background I will expand.
I miss this. This is one of the things that makes me feel “international home-sick.” I had this Level 5 in a small group I was in while living in Sri Lanka. I miss it. I need it. This back and forth of deep sharing, helps get to the root of problems and the honesty is so helpful when you need peace in life. Its how in the midst of so much violence and hate, I was kept sane. I have tried to find groups/individuals like this group since, but for the most part no one wants to go there! (Note: I have found some individuals, but not multiple people and not a group.) The key of this openness in sharing is having it go both ways. Having a group/individuals in which you can share at a deep level with is great, but even more important I think is the sharing others do with you. Without bilateral sharing you end up opening and giving little bits of yourself to people. If said group/individual only returns conversation at a three level they are giving you teaspoons of themselves and you are dealing them gallons. Giving gallons and only receiving teaspoons will then leave you feeling primarily EMPTY, drained and/or emotionally dehydrated; but you could also feel angry, sad that the other person can’t open up, and confused as to whether that person is honest even in the sharing they do disclose. The other person is not a bad person, they just don’t open up. Traversing past this realization point is difficult. Do you work at making the group/individual comfortable- give them time or reassuring, do you throw in the towel and say, “hey it’s a good group/person with whom to be superficial friends,” or do you leave and never look back?
In the small group that Jamie and I are starting, I hope we all get on the same page and stay there!
Peace,
Jodi
(oh one more thing. I am going to Eastern Ohio to the Millers’ house on Friday!!! Robin will be there and Sarah and Paul! I worked with all of them in Big Bang. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
posted by Jodi Crossgrove at
4:10 PM
1 Comments:
This was a wonderful post! Keep them coming... we love to hear about you and keep you in our prayers.
-Heidi
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Tim and Heidi Huber, at 10:17 AM
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